The Awe Factor

Stop. Think about it.

The Creator of ALL..of everything...loves YOU. He has chosen YOU. He wants YOU. His heart cries for YOU. He gave everything for YOU.

1 John 3:1 "How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are!"

Psalm 108:4, "For great is your love, higher than the heavens; your faithfulness reaches to the skies."

[My] motive for writing is simply this: [I] want you to enjoy this, too. Your joy will double [my] joy! - 1 John 1:3

Dare to Dream

Is this the kind of live that you're living? Fragile and afraid? Afraid to take a step out into the unknown? I want to challenge you. Dare to dream. Let's not sit aside and watch time pass. Let's stand up and reach to pursue God with all we have. Let's reach for His dreams. The Creator of the universe has been thinking about you for a very long time. And He's orchestrated a perfect plan for your life. If you stop and think about your biggest dreams and desires...God has more. God's plan is more perfect than what our human minds can comprehend. 
Don't be scared to reach for God. Sure..it's not always easy. The Bible doesn't guarantee that there will be no suffering. In fact, there is. There's suffering when you die to yourself. When you say no to your flesh, and yes to God. It's hard. But, we have to know that God's love never fails. And He will never fail us. So, DARE TO DREAM...and you'll see all that God has had planned for you...since the very beginning.


No one's ever seen or heard anything like this, Never so much as imagined anything quite like it—What God has arranged for those who love Him. 
1 Corinthians 2:9

He Rescued Me.

For the past several days I have been intently working on my support letters for Guatemala. I've been so focused on completing them that I barely left room in my mind for anything else. But, tonight...I sealed the last envelope. 

Sometimes in life we get so caught up in what we're doing at the moment, that we forget the purpose of why we started it. Take me for instance. I was laboring away at those support letters. I had a one mind track. And it was to finish them. But why? Why was I working on support letters? Because I'm going to Guatemala. I'm moving to a third world country to be a missionary. Why? Because I love Jesus with my whole heart. And I've experienced His love in such a way that radically changed me. And I want to take that love that I discovered...to the world. Let us not get so wrapped up in the work, in the action. That we forget the WHY. 

Tonight, I was watching this documentary on missions. And while I was staring at the screen, God came and He clearly said, "Look. Look at how I've rescued you." It truly amazes me. 3 years ago I thought nothing was wrong with me. I thought that I just moved in with my aunt and uncle, started going to church, and now look! "I'm saved, I'm a christian, I love Jesus!" But..clearly that wasn't the case. I was lost. I was lost in utter darkness. I didn't know who I was and I was willing to do whatever was needed to figure that out. Things started going wrong in my family. They were changing and I didn't like the outcomes. Then, here they come. John & Patty MacManamy. My rescuers. My heroes. I know that Jesus sent them into my life to come and save me. And they did. They came just in time. I was about to die. Emotionally and Spiritually. That's the moment that God came and picked me up. God is made strong in our weaknesses. He picks us up off the ground. After we've been kicked and stomped on. And He dusts us off. BUT, not only does He do that. He stands us up, and empowers us to be leaders. It's true. That's my story. The story of how God took a lost little girl, and turned her into a powerful, bold disciple.

Be grounded in PEACE.

Recently, I have been dealing with an overwhelming realm of worry. Worrying about little things, big things, and all the things in between. The devil used this as an excuse to get in and made me question some of the things in my life. BUT, I'm supposed to peace filled. So, what was I doing wrong? My mind was everywhere EXCEPT where it needed to be. Fixed on God. The Bible tells us in Isaiah 26:3, "You will keep in perfect peace all who trust in you, all whose thoughts are fixed on you." My thoughts weren't fixed on God. I was thinking about how I had to handle all these situations, not on how God could deliver me from them. The answer is easy. Be peaceful. Follow peace. When you have access to the Prince of Peace, you can call on peace and it comes to you. That's what happens when you have Jesus on the inside of you. Have inexplicable peace DESPITE what's going on around you. We really shine to the world when we exhibit peaceful hearts in the most anxious times. People will wonder why. Why are you not going crazy? They'll begin to ask questions. And you'll have the answers. You have the answer that everyone needs. Jesus. Exhibit the peace of God in the midst of a chaotic world, and you'll make a difference. 
Do you need direction in life? Start following peace. God will give you peace about what is right. For me, I was fully trusting in God with my future. I wasn't going to college and I didn't have a set plan. To the world I was just floating around, with no answers. But that wasn't the case. I was grounded in peace. Standing firm in what God had told me, "Take the peace filled path, even if it doesn't make the most sense." I followed that peace. I stayed patient in that peace. I rested in that peace. God is faithful, and He was faithful to show Himself to me. And to show me that He does have a plan for me. For my life. God has a plan for your life too. Begin to listen to that voice on the inside of you. And follow peace. It will lead you in the right direction. 

A Gift.

Deep down in each one of us there is something special. Something unique and different. Something that no one else in the world has. Something that no one else in the world can do. It sounds pretty cool, doesn't it? You have a gift. Placed inside of you by God. He created us with such love and passion. He orchestrated each of us, one by one. 
When I was younger, I didn't think that I had anything special to offer the world. I was shy. I didn't like getting out of my comfort zone. Then, my life took a turn when I moved in with Mr. & Mrs. MacManamy. My aunt and uncle.  They are 2 of the most gifted people I know. They have a way of connecting to people that is beyond normality. It never ceases to amaze me; the things they do. The day I stepped into the Mac House was the day I stepped out of my comfort zone and into a journey that would change my life. I was being pushed, to my limits. Little by little, I began to step out more. Eventually I was leaving the country, going on missions trips, helping out at a worldwide children's convention. But you know what? I didn't feel confident in what I was doing until I discovered the gifts God had placed in me. And I didn't see those gifts until I abandoned myself and sought after Him. 
1 Timothy 4:14, "Do not neglect the gift that is in you."

Be a Disciple.

Upon arriving in Kansas, I was timid. The thought of having to start all over...once again, scared me. I was worried how people would take me. Would they accept me? Would I have friends? Or would I go through this next year solo? I attended the Crave Conference in the summer of 2009. There was a speaker who was talking and asked the question, "Who are you going to be this year? Who does God want you to be?" I immediately went to ask God. I opened up my booklet where I was taking notes, and the first thing i saw that I had written was "Be a Jesus Freak." Hmm, well I knew what God wanted me to be. I left the conference with that thought reverberating in my mind. 
Soon, school was starting. And the shyness began to take over. Then, God so kindly reminded me of who I was supposed to be. He reminded me of who He created to be. A Jesus Freak. Sometimes doing what God wants isn't always the easy thing. I was attending the new high school that was tagged as "the rich kids." I drove to school everyday and parked my car among the many BMW's and Mercedes. Then, there was me...Susanna, showing up to school in jeans and a t-shirt. Already, I was the odd girl out. BUT, I remembered who I was. One day at school I was going to the cafeteria when everyone else was leaving. It was me fighting through a student body of 1,700. In that moment, God showed me how I was to "go against the crowd." 
God had called me to be a disciple. So, what did I do? I loved. Regardless of the people around me, I loved them. I didn't judge them. I talked to them. I was there for them. And what happened? A change took place. Those very people who persecuted me were coming to me. They were confused. I was constantly asked, "Why do you talk to me? You're so much better than me." This was my opportunity to share the love of God with them. 
After graduating, we all went our own ways. But, there was this one girl in particular that I remember. During the year she had approached me and told me to take off my w.w.j.d. bracelet, then continued to call me a hypocrite. I looked at her and said, "I'm sorry if it offends you, but I love Jesus." I wasn't trying to prove myself, I was simply letting her know who owns my heart. After this incident she didn't talk to me too much. But, the other day she contacted me and told me these words, "Susanna...you're going to be a hero to many people. And make a difference in the lives of everyone around you." Wow. I was shocked. What had I done to deserve such an encouragement? 
I was a disciple. The Bible tells us in John 14, "This is my command: Love Each Other." The world will know we are disciples of Jesus by the way we love each other. Let your life be your best worship. Let your life speak for you. It's the most effective way to minister to those around you. People will begin to see just how different you are, and they'll question your ways. God opens doors for you to minister. Take it! There is a world out there that needs to be saved. And there are certain people in your path that God has placed. God wants you to change them through Him. Take off their chains and bring them into the light. 


John 14:12, "This is my command: Love each other as I have loved you."

The Secret Place

How many times a day are your thoughts conscious in the things of God? How often do you pray? The typical times? Before you go to bed and before meals? Yeah, sure that's fine...IF you want to be a normal christian. But God didn't call us to be "normal" christians. He called us to be supernatural in all the things we do. To operate in the Supernatural power of the One who loves us. 

The Bible tells us in 1 Peter  5:8, "Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like  a roaring lion looking for someone to devour." We have an enemy. And he's out to kill, steal, and destroy us and everything we have become and everything we're striving for in Christ. If we're not alert and not watchful, guess who the devil is going to choose to devour? YOU. He looks for breaks and faults in our faith to get in and take over. We have to resist him. 1 Peter 5:9 goes on to say, "Resist him, standing firm in the faith." The Bible tells us the problem: the enemy is out to get us. But, the Bible also gives us the solution: stand firm in the faith and you will resist the enemy and all the bad works he brings. 

Recently,  I've been guilty. Of not giving God absolutely everything that I have. Trials are coming. And we have to be prepared. These trials are coming and if you let them, they will take everything from you. Everything you care about. We have to be ready. But, how do we get ready? Prayer. It's simple. So simple. Completely immersing yourself in the Word of God. Let Him talk to you and tell you who you are. He'll build you up, and He's the only one who can help you overcome these trials that you will face. I've made up my mind, I am going after God. With a fire in my heart that can't be burned out. I will do whatever it takes. I am no longer going to stand victim to the devil. No longer is he going to get in and distract me. My eyes are set on the Most High. 

So, do whatever it takes. Give everything you have. I want God to work in me. Spiritual growth is a never ending thing. There is always more room to grow. So, do everything you can. Give all your time over to God. He's calling our names. He wants to talk to us, and impart things into our lives that will make a lasting impression. Now, to me, that's more important than watching that show you recorded on TV last night. I'm not saying that it's going to be easy. Standing firm in faith never is an "easy" thing to do. But, when you do it...oh boy, there are rewards. 

In my life, for the past couple of weeks, I've been battling with a couple of things. And I haven't had peace about anything. It's been hard. It takes a toll on your everyday life. The devil was trying to make me feel completely isolated. Like I was all alone. For a little while, I felt as if I had no where to turn. That I was literally, alone. But, that's not the case. My God is with me. I don't have to be scared. I don't have to fear. Don't be scared to breakdown in front of God. He's the one that will make you whole again. 

Wherever you are, let God in. Spend time with God. He doesn't care where you are. But, find a secret place. A place where you go to just talk and spend time with God. Away from all the distractions that try to pull you away. Right now, I'm staying with a friend. And it's been especially hard to say no to all those distractions...and yes to God. But, last night I felt God pushing it on my heart to spend time with Him. So, where did i go? I went into her closet. I just cried out to God. He just wants the best for our lives. And we find out what that best is when we give Him our first. Give God everything. Wake up praising God, be conscious of Him throughout the day, and don't let your "free time" take you away. If we have free time, that's just more time that you have to spend with the One who gave everything for us.

I'm serious about this. So serious. Are you? I am going to let go of all the things that are holding me back. Hebrews 12 says, "Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance, the race marked out for us." I'm throwing off everything that hinders, no strings attached. We all have a calling, something we're striving for. Me? I'm going to be a missionary. I can't sit back and practice normal christianity. I have to be so deep in the Word and striving with all that is in me to reach God. I have big dreams, but God has bigger dreams. In order for me to reach any of these dreams. I have to put God first. And really, there is only a first place. God is the only thing that matters. Look to Him first, and all the other things will come. Just as they are supposed to. 

Do everything you can. Just give your whole heart, and everything that you are over to God. You'll see how the task of everyday life becomes easier. Make sacrifices. Wake up a little earlier to talk to Him. In everything you do, put God first. Because He put you first. If you tap into the love of God, it makes it hard to reject Him. You'll begin to realize just how much He gave, and you'll start to see the immense amount of love He has for us. 

Jeremiah 29:13,  "You will seek me and find me when you seek with your whole heart.

Jeremiah 31:3, "I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness."

Stand Strong In Your Calling.

Growing up I lived with my mom and 2 older sisters. I looked at them and saw what they were pursuing in life, then I looked at myself. I had no passion, no ambition for my future. When people asked what I wanted to do I would always give a cliche answer, "Oh I don't know..but I want to make a difference." I put no thought into the words I was saying. I was just giving an answer. Little did I know, it was much more than that.

June 2007

October 2007

My life started a radical journey when I moved in with my aunt and uncle in May 2007. I had never been so immersed into the love of God. I had never been pushed like they pushed me. They pushed me to discover myself. To find who I was in Jesus. To identify myself with Him. Pretty soon, I began to speak out dreams and desires that were in my heart. I started to look at my life with meaning. With purpose. My life was changed the day that a group from Mexico came to visit my 10th grade spanish class. I went home saying, "I love mexicans!" My heart was opened to missions for the very first time. That summer I traveled to Guatemala for the very first time, and fell in love. My heart was hooked on that country. It was some type of connection that I had no control over. God was doing something in me. I continued to travel to Guatemala during the summers. Then, my senior year in high school had come. As graduation came closer the talk about future plans was rising. I considered college, but then God told me, "Do what I've called you to do, NOT what you think you need to do." Missions. I knew I was called to missions. So, I waited. Earnestly seeking God and His will. Throughout this time I was being persecuted for branching out and not doing the normal thing. I wasn't going to college, and almost everyone I ran into disagreed with it. Graduation was just around the corner, and I was talking on the phone with my dad about all the arrangements. Then, came the question..."So, do you know what you're doing after you graduate?" I answered, "Well dad, I know what I'm called to do and i'm waiting for God to open the right doors." My dad didn't take it as I had hoped. He continued to tell me that my life was going no where and how i'll regret this down the road. Well, did that hurt? Yes I'm human, of course it hurt. But, I had to follow the peace that God had given me. 
A lot of the time what God wants from us doesn't make sense to the world. In the natural, it seems impossible. People who aren't seeking God with their whole heart won't understand. And a lot of the time, the world will refute you and your ideas, your plans. But, we have to know who we are. Know who you are in Christ. That's what makes the difference. During all of this God continued to tell me one thing, "Be obedient. REGARDLESS what people will do or say." Be obedient to the voice of God. He's the one that will lead you home.
Proverbs 16:3, "Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and your plans will succeed.

"You're here because you have a PURPOSE."

Let's start our journey here. Last summer around this time my aunt, uncle, little cousin and I were living in a hotel, starting our new journey in Kansas City. Originally I didn't want to move. It was hard for me. I had to leave everything, my senior year of high school. Your senior year of high school is the most anticipated event of your teenage years. And there I was, moving across the country to an unknown land. It was a struggle for me; an inward battle. The enemy was trying to make me feel isolated, but my God wouldn't stand for that.
 I got the opportunity to attend a youth conference within the first few weeks of moving. While there God spoke so clearly to my heart. He said, "You're here because you have a purpose." Suddenly, all the apprehensions of why we had to move were gone. And instead of anticipation for my final year of high school, I was anticipating all that God wanted to do. And maybe my senior year wasn't everything I expected it to be. But, I can say that it was MORE than what I expected. God did what He wanted to do. And you know what? He used ME! God chose me, just like He chose you!
We all have a purpose, a calling. We just need to stop anticipating what we want, and be still. Let God speak to you. Let Him tell you what He wants to do. Trust me, it'll be more than what you were originally waiting for. God wants to use you. In big ways. When I was a little girl, I would look at my cousins and notice how God was moving in their lives. In my mind, it was impossible for Him to use me that way. But, God, even then...He was working on my behalf. Even when I wasn't recognizing Him. He rescued me from the dead life I was a victim to, and raised me up to be a leader. He came in and radically changed my life. And during this process, He radically changed other's lives through me! And that's nothing little. But why? Why did God choose me? Why did God use me? Because I have a PURPOSE. A higher calling. Just like you.

Romans 8:28 "And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."