You're Not Alone

Have you ever had those times where you felt so alone? You feel like you're the only one out there. As if no one sees you or hears you. It's as if no one even cares. 


When I first moved to Guatemala I lived with a family. A family that I had never met. I didn't even know their names. I was surrounded by people, yet I felt so alone. This is one of devil's strongest tactics; isolation. He likes to make us feel completely alone. He wants us to feel like no one cares. He wants to make you feel as weak as possible so he can move in and take over your heart. He was doing this to me. I felt alone, completely isolated. I'm in a country that's not my own. Surrounded by people that don't speak my language. But, there's one thing that we have to realize. We're not alone. We're never alone. Deuteronomy 31:8 says, "Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; He will neither fail nor abandon you." Did you hear that? We don't have to be afraid. We don't have to be discouraged. I can be strong and courageous. You can be brave and bold. Don't let fear take hold of you. I know it's easier said than done. Trust me, I know. I live in a spanish speaking country. I had to learn the language. And guess what? I'm still learning. I get scared sometimes to just open my mouth and talk. But I have to realize that this is where God sent me. This is my calling. To go into all the world and tell them about the immense love of Jesus. So, I need to speak up and be bold! Whether I'm speaking in english or spanish. God is with me. All the time. Just like He's with you. We're His children. His children! A good dad never leaves his children to figure things out on their own. He guides and leads them. We need to learn to stop looking at ourselves. Stop looking at our surroundings. And start looking to the one who has all the answers. When we look to ourselves..situations look and feel hopeless. Because they are. We can't live this life on our own. It's literally impossible. So, stop trying! Look to HIM. He'll make you strong. He'll make you bold. He'll give you the courage you need to do His will. 


When I first moved in with the family here in Guatemala I was invited to go to a christian church event. The family was 100% catholic. So, the fact that they actually went was a miracle. I was sitting there and they started praying for people. One lady walked up to me, touched my shoulder and started professing this over me, "No estás sola. No estás sola." She was telling me that I wasn't alone! God was reminding me that He was still there. And that He was never going to leave nor forsake me.

So faithful, So constant

In January 2010, I started a journal. I would write quite often about all that was on my mind and in my heart. All that God was doing and how He was moving through me. The other day I was looking through my journal and it gave me a jolt of encouragement. I saw all that God had done in my life in the year of 2010. It reminded me of how faithful God is. He will never leave us! And He's making a way for His plan to come to pass in our lives! How much better could it get?


As I was reading through my journal I came across an entry where I was devoutly seeking God. It was around March. And I was planning on going to college, and living a normal life. Then God came and intervened. He told me that He has something better. So, I said OK. I felt as if I was left in the dark. I had no idea what to do or what God wanted from me. For months I waited...and waited. Then, finally...I had an answer! God wanted me to go to Guatemala. Yes! It was the true desire of my heart. But...wait...how was I going to get there? In the natural it seemed impossible. What would I do? The standard age for a missionary with the ministry there is 25 years old. And I was only 17. But I still found peace. I found peace in the one option that left me no answer. 


God took care of me. He provided for me, and gave me the opportunity to do something that has eternal value. It looked impossible, but God made it happen. He told me, "I will take care of you because you are faithful to follow me." God is faithful. But we have to be faithful too. Faithful in the small and He'll give us more. Matthew 25:21 says, "Well done my good and faithful servant. You have been good in handling this small amount, so now I will give you many more responsibilities." 


God gave me a dream. And as I was faithful to seek Him and His will, He revealed more to me. And He made a way for my dream to become a reality. I now get the opportunity to live out this dream that's so deep in my heart. And guess what? It's awesome. 

Come Away With Me

God, as always is calling on us. He's warning us. Everyday we fight a constant battle against ourselves. Against the enemy. Believe it or not, we do have one. He's out to take everything away that God set before us. It's our choice. Don't hit rock bottom before you go crawling to God, before you cry out to Him to save you. Go to Him right now. And He can rescue you before you fall. Give Him your worship, give Him all that He deserves. Do we really know how great our God is? Do we really know how much God loves? Do we really know how strong that love is? It never fails. Never gives up. Never runs out. Never. He never stops pursuing us with His love. He's constantly there calling out. He's constantly there. 

Our God has a plan. He has one with your name on it. He wants you to drop what you're holding and begin to chase after Him with that never ending perseverance that is placed on the inside of you. Go for it! Think about it. It's not just about us. The other day God so clearly came to me and He told me this, "It's not just about you." What I do and what i'm doing...it's not just about me. It doesn't just affect me. It affects the plan. The plan that God hand designed for MY life. For YOUR life. This...this whole "Jesus thing"...it's bigger than us. It's bigger than you. It's bigger than me. We need to learn to trust. To trust in our God. He's in control, but we need to give him the control over us. Let Him work inside of us. Let Him teach us how to live. Let Him live through us. Through our words, our actions, our steps. Every aspect of life. We have no idea how God can use us. Let us not doubt, but believe. And expect. And with God, well He never does anything less than mind-blowing. We don't know...oh we just don't know what God is doing with us, and through us. But know this...it's bigger than who we are. It's grand. God...use us! You never know what God has planned. He might even have you on a path to change a poverty stricken, faithless nation. 


"I shout out Your name. From the rooftops I proclaim, I AM YOURS. All that I am I place into Your loving hands. I AM YOURS." 

I Wanna Be Used By You

You wanna know something? I’m not perfect. Not even close. I definitely have my flaws. I listen too much to what other people say about me. AND the worst part is that I care about what they’re saying about me. Just a few minutes ago I was breaking down in my heart because I listened to what others had to say. I felt a sense of betrayal. I felt trapped. Oh, here I am...in a foreign country...away from all my family and all my friends back home. What am I going to do? 

In the midst of my emotions, I knew I had 2 options. I could lay there and feel sorry for myself OR...I could get up right then and not let my emotions run my life. Guess which option I took? Immediately, God spoke to me, “Susanna...I’m here. I’m on your team.” I had to let Him take control completely over the situation. I had to let Him take my sorrow away. And you know what? He did. It’s all gone. 

God has a plan for each of our lives. I don’t know about you, but I am determined to give everything I am to live out that plan. There’s something that you need to be aware of though. We have an enemy. He’s out to distract us from the plan of God. One of the biggest ways He does that is with our emotions. When we get caught up in the way we feel...at that very moment, it’s like nothing else matters. We become completely focused on the situation...not even looking to THE solution. That’s what the devil was trying to do with me. He was trying to make me feel isolated, betrayed, all alone. And..honestly it was working. It was working until I realized this: The ONLY thing that matters is God’s opinion. I need to listen to what HIS voice is saying about me. When you know who you are in Jesus, that’s when God can really use you. Because you know who you are, and you’re not listening to other voices trying to figure yourself out. You already know! 

I wanna be used by Him. So, I will listen to His voice. I will know that He is for me. Know that He is for YOU! He’s on your side, He’s on your team. Let Him fight for you. Let Him take away your sorrow, your suffering, your heartaches. And let Him replace it with His never ending joy. It’ll be a decision that you’ll never regret. He loves you. So, let Him show you JUST how much.

You Are For Me

Have you ever felt alone? So alone that you feel you have no where to turn to? It feels like it's you against the world, doesn't it? And it feels as if the situation is completely hopeless. This song puts me back in my place. Right back where I belong. It reminds me that God...He never leaves us. And when you feel that you are all alone...and everyone is against you...just remember the One who is always on your side. And know that He's all that matters. He's always there for you. Never leaving or forsaking you in your weaknesses. So, realize it! Make it a known fact to you. And lean on Him. He's the one that will make you strong.

I'm Still Here

The past few weeks I've been living in Guatemala. And it's been kinda busy. Waking up early, going to school, drilling spanish into my mind for 5 hours everyday, working with the students at the ACE on campus, going home, doing homework, going to bed. That's basically my schedule at the moment. Therefore, my mind has been all over. And some people might say, "Wow! You moved to a different country to follow God! That's awesome, I bet you are so close to Him!" Well, for me...that wasn't the case. YES, I moved to a different country to follow God. But I've felt far away from Him in the past couple of weeks. I felt like I wasn't hearing His voice, and I was so longing to. It began to get discouraging to me. 

This last weekend I traveled to a town in Guatemala called Palin. There was a small group of students going to do an evangelism outreach and I tagged along. One night the pastor of a church wanted us to go and present a drama to his youth group. The church was in Amatilan, a town about 30 minutes from where we were staying. Only 5 people were needed, but I was asked to go. So, we presented the drama...and then the pastor went up and started to lead us in worship. I was there, I closed my eyes...and for the first time in a while I heard God speak to me. He said, "I'm still here...I haven't left you." Well...it became one of those moments where you just can't hold it in anymore and tears began to fall. While I was standing there in the presence of God, He began to show me different things I’ve been through...and how He’s rescued me. He showed me how He was there then and how He is here now. Never leaving or forsaking me. Then, He told me...“Now GO!” 

God will never leave us. No matter what we feel or think. He’s always there. Always. And He’s calling out our names. We just need to be sensitive enough to hear Him. And to respond. It’s simple. Yet, sometimes it’s so hard to say no to what you want to do. And say YES to what we need to do. Soon enough it will become a desire of your heart. And you won’t be able to refuse His calling. But, right now...don’t get discouraged. You’re not alone. He’s right there with you. Telling you, “I’m still here...I haven’t left you.”

You're here because you have a PURPOSE, Part 2

Well here I am. Starting this new season of my life in Guatemala. At times, it feels a bit surreal to know that I'm actually here. It happens everytime I walk outside, everytime I look into the hungry eyes of the kids I now call my family. I have to stop..and think. Am I really here? What am I doing? Why am I here? 
Everyday I wake up, get ready for the day, eat breakfast, then walk to school. I'm attending spanish school for the next 9 weeks. The teaching style is one on one. And my teacher, well he'll be the first person to tell you that he's not a christian. He lives his life the way he wants it. My heart reaches out to him. I want him to realize that there's more to this life than girls, partying, and constantly trying to fill that void. Well, then there's me...the student. And I'll be the first person to tell him that I'm a Christian. During class, only spanish is spoken. He'll give me certain verbs and ask me to phrase it in a sentence. Well, the other day...one of the verbs I was given was the verb "rezar", which means "to pray." So, there I go...off on a tangent. Saying, "I prayed this morning..I prayed last night. I pray all the time, everyday..and why? Because Jesus lives in my heart." I look up and my teacher is staring at me. And next, out of his mouth, come the words, "Well..how do you get Jesus in your heart?" It kinda shocked me...A LOT. But, I didn't dare waste anytime. I quickly said, "Listen Up...I'll tell you." For the next half an hour, we talked about Jesus. And what He truly did for us. How we are saved by grace, not by works. But..what really convicted him was when I told him, "Jesus loves you soooo incredibly much...so much actually that He would have still gone through all the ridicule, every beating...just for YOU." 
As I was talking to my teacher, God spoke so calmly and yet so firmly to me. He said, "You see. This is why I've brought you here." Then, He spoke some familiar words to my heart. He said, "You're here because you have a PURPOSE." We all have a purpose. God didn't just call some of us to follow Him. He called ALL of us. And maybe not everyone is supposed to drop everything and move to a different country. But we are all supposed to represent Jesus and be His disciples...wherever He should lead us. Be obedient to the voice of God. He's going to lead you down a path that you won't be able to refuse. And before you know it, you'll have people asking.."Well...how do you get Jesus in your heart?" You'll be making a difference. A big difference. Leading someone to Christ is no small thing. You'll be taking part in changing that person's destiny...forever. 


No one's ever seen or heard anything like this, Never so much as imagined anything quite like it—What God has arranged for those who love him.
1 Corinthians 2:9


It's news I'm most proud to proclaim, this extraordinary Message of God's powerful plan to rescue everyone who trusts Him.
Romans 1:16